Dubai

dubai.  let's discuss!

never in a million years did i think i would get the opportunity to go to dubai, but when my husband came to me back in january and said, "hey, i have a conference to go to in dubai, do you think you'd want to go?", i about hit the floor.  my jaw actually did!

not that i knew, really, where dubai was on the map, or how far we'd have to fly to get there, i only knew that my answer was, "YES!"

i was able to go for a full weekend.  we left on a thursday night and i stayed until early monday morning.  (heath and his co-worker stayed for the week).  we had no idea what we were getting ourselves into, we really thought that the hotel was so amazing that we would just stay by the pool for a few days.

WRONG!

saturday morning we (heath, myself, dustin (co-worker) and abby (his wife) were all around the pool and dustin tells us that he booked us a trip to go on a desert safari.  we all thought this would be really fun and something new and exciting.  after laying out by the water, in amazing sand and having really nice cabana boys bring us popsicles to cool us off (no, i'm not kidding!) we all went up to get ready for our desert safari.

the safari was like something i've never done.  and never thought i would do!  we drove down the highway for about 45 minutes and then he just pulled into some desert.  while we rode around on quad-bikes, he let air out of the Land Cruiser's tires.  we all piled back in after a FANTASTIC time on the quad-bikes (four wheelers).  so much fun.

and we were off to the desert!  right away, he took us to this really high tip of a desert hill and we just rode it until the car started to go sideways!  we all screamed, i may have been holding my breath, i'm not sure and then we were on all four wheels again.  he did this over and over and over again.  it was amazing.  dune bashing is what it's called.  it was such a thrill!

after dune bashing for an hour or so, stopping to get some great pictures, and driving some more, we came to an area...i'm not even sure what to call it.  it was a wide open area for us to have dinner and entertainment.  we did things like camel riding, hookah, ate exotic food (like camel...yes, i ate some.  it tastes like chicken) and henna painted on our arms.  it was really like nowhere i'd ever been before.  it was so much fun.

the best part of it all was that heath and i were able to do this together.  to experience this for the first time, at the same time.  we were like little kids at disney!  my face hurt that night as we came home from it all because i'd been smiling so much, laughing and talking endlessly about what a great experience it had been.  it just kept getting better the whole day through!

you know, sometimes you need a little crazy fun with your spouse.  it was new and exciting and it enabled us, FORCED us, to forget about work, children, and responsibility.....it was wonderful.

just for a little while. to forget.  and to have fun.

the next day we shopped at the gold markets and had some fun bartering with the locals, (i may have had more fun than heath on that) and later, we were able to shop at The Dubai Shopping Mall, the world's largest shopping mall and then have dinner at the top of the tallest building in the world, the Burj Khalifa.  it's really just kinda fun to say that we did these things.  the mall was more than i could stand.  endless shopping...you think it sounds fun until you are lost in a labyrinth of stores and you can't find your way out!

it was at our dinner, way up high, that heath and i were able to sit back and giggle at all the crazy things we'd done over the weekend.  again, like little kids at disney who were trying to be calm adults in an adult restaurant.  all the excitement from the weekend.  and not only that, but all the adventures we've done in the last 10 YEARS together!  it's been a wild ride since the moment we met.  we couldn't help but talk about our blessings that we've been given, the opportunities that we have in front of us.  there is not a day that goes by that i don't think about these years as a fun experience (even when times get a little crazy), a learning experience (goodness knows i'm learning!) and a time to grow.

it was also during this time, that we talked about the blessings and how much we enjoy and want to give back, to serve, to help.  i am certain that my time of mission work is not over.  i'm certain that at some point, God will lead me back to cambodia where there is more work to be done for those children.  i was not created to take in all these blessings and NOT give back.

dubai was a great trip for so many reasons.  it gave us a chance to escape reality.  but it also gave us a really hard look at what reality really is for us and the important things in life.  it's not that we'd forgotten these things but a tiny reminder never hurts.  dubai will be one of my most treasured trips with heath.  we learned more about one another and remembered a few things about ourselves too.

Living Life Long Distance

we've been in london now for around 8 months.  i'm not sure if that feels like a long time or a short time.  a little bit of both, i guess.  there are things about living here that i love (the adventure and travel!!!) and things that i'm not so crazy about (the hustle and bustle of getting the kids to and from places and heath's crazy work schedule/travel).  it's been an adjustment.  the first three months were pretty difficult, the next couple of months were a little better. and after learning my way around, understanding the culture a little better and braving new areas, it became even better.  these last couple of months have been a little bit of both, "difficult" and a "little better".

the children talk about America often.  they ask questions about if we remember certain things (as if we could forget).  they want to know when we will go back, will we go back to stay forever, will we get to see friends and family members.  it's fun to talk to them about all of these things but it can also be little sad at times.  we all love home so much.  we are enjoying our days here but there is such a strong pull to be "home".

it's difficult to live life long distance.  we are on different time zones, different weather patterns, different tv shows to talk about, different schools, different churches.  there are so many differences that, although not really a big deal, after several months, becomes a little bigger.

there are people, friends and family, that i'm surprised that i have not kept in touch with more.  the time difference is crazy.  when i'm up and ready to make some phone calls in the morning, all of america is sleeping like babies (or my boot camp buddies are in the park working out at 5 am!)  when there are important phone calls to be made, i have to make them after 8 pm over here when the children are in bed and i can actually HEAR the person i'm speaking with, which again, gets crazy because it's 3 pm in the states.  who has time to chit chat at 3 pm.  and even someone who could talk at this time would do circles in the conversation around me since my brain is MUSH by 8 pm.

we have a long distance plan that allows us to call at any time and talk for as long as we like.  the bill is the same each month.  many people have this sort of phone plan.   it's nothing new and nothing fancy.  it's nice, because it allows me the opportunity to call whenever, whomever, and however i like.  so, why don't i call more?

long distance.  it's not the price, it's all the other stuff that makes it difficult.

i noticed something else that has seemed long distance over here.  God.  i say that with complete hesitation because i know that it's not His fault that i feel so far away from Him.  i know that it is all my fault and that hurts me deeply.  i'm in that "place" right now, that sort of valley.  you know, we have hills and valleys?  yep, i'm in the valley.  not a deep or desperate valley.  but a valley.  just a little one.  the things that i valued so much are long distance right now, my church, my small group on monday nights, my family, my cambodia team members and the option to do mission work (the way that i'm use to).  it's all so far away.  so it's really no wonder that i've slipped into this "far away" feeling.

even my prayers feel far away.  i like to describe my prayers as this:  i pray them, silently.  sometimes out loud.  and they feel as though they can't leave the room.  as if they are not heard.  like they bounce off the ceiling.  or the prayers just float up a little and then rest there, waiting to be heard at a later time.  sometimes, i'll have a million things that i want to say, that i want to pray.  and then when i start to speak, my words get jumbled, i start to fumble.  and there i just sit.

the thing is, i know better than this.  i know that God hears it all.  i know that i have a long distance plan with Him  as well.  His plan is free of charge.  i can call whenever i like and He'll always pick up, He'll always listen.  even with this knowledge and full belief.  full faith.  i still feel far away.

it's my truest belief that we have the hills and valleys with good reason.  it is with great certainty that God is at work, even in my weakness and my failure to communicate.  God has these two years in His hands along with a gazillion more things that are thrown His way by all of us.  and this time is important to Him, like all of time is.  the way that i carry myself and the way that i serve during the fun travels (when it's easy to enjoy the good life and all  the blessings) and the quiet lonely moments (when it's easy to have a pity party).  regardless of my hill or valley, i know that He is there.  i know that He is waiting, watching, listening, loving and holding me.   all of us.  God uses these valleys in all kinds of ways.  i know this from experience in some of my deepest and darkest valleys in the years past.  i wouldn't trade those valleys.  i won't trade this one.

and so, while i'm living life long distance.

feeling so far away.

i will continue to wait,

watch,

listen,

love

and hold on to Him as well.

this valley will not last forever, nor will the hills.  they come and go.

living life long distance is not easy.  but it's where i am for the moment.  and it's where i'll be for a little while. at least on the map.  i'm in God's hands all the time so i know He is right with me.

the valleys are here for a reason.

i'll continue to enjoy my hills and embrace my valleys.

Psalm 139

1 You have searched me, LORD,
   and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
   you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
   you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
   you, LORD, know it completely.
5 You hem me in behind and before,
   and you lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
   too lofty for me to attain.

 7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
   Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
   if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
   if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
   your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
   and the light become night around me,”
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
   the night will shine like the day,
   for darkness is as light to you.