"We Left Too Soon"

in my last post, i talked about how quickly time went by on our trip back to the states.  our Christmas Break turned into Christmas Express.  we had a great time seeing the friends and family that we were able to see but it never seemed like enough.  but even if we'd stayed for twice as many weeks and saw four times the amount of people, it still would not have been enough.

i'm greedy like that.

i want to see as many people and do as many things as i can.  and i want to have time to relax as well.  i want it all.

greedy.

there are times that i don't want to go outside of my house or my backyard because i want for just my family of six to be together and relish our moments with one another.

greedy.

yep, i want to do it all and then a little more than that.

as our 3 weeks came to a close, we had my family over for New Year's.  we had 8 adults and the 8 grandchildren under the age of 5 sleeping in our home for the night.  if you do the math, you will realize that half of the children were my own, so it really wasn't so scary.  the children went to bed and we spent the evening eating, laughing, playing, joking and acting silly.  my parents were there too.  they were quiet, my mom very intent on watching the Ryan Seacrest countdown.  they seemed tired.  and maybe even a little distant.  i chalked it up to the fact that they had been running themselves ragged over the last three weeks as well.

we brought in the New Year together, still eating, laughing, playing and joking.  but at this point my sister and i had started dancing.  things can get a little crazy when we are together.  it was nice to have several hours together without our children.  so that we could be the children once again.

the next morning, we woke up and had a sinful breakfast of eggs, bacon, sausage, cinnamon rolls, orange danish rolls and maybe even a few other things.  heath and i were doing the cooking and goodness knows, i can't cook and think at the same time.  if any of us had made a resolution to lose weight, it did not start with this breakfast.  soon after, my parents said their goodbyes, gave hugs and were walking out the door.  it didn't really hit me as "good-bye" until reese came down the stairs and said to my mom, "grandma, i want to hug you".  to which my mother replied, "well, of course.  i already hugged you, but i can hug you again".

and then it happened.  the tears came down.  my little girl knew that  the hug she'd gotten early from Grandma might not sustain her for the trip back to London.  so she needed one more....

the hugs began again and the tears came down.  and let me add, this was only my parents and i going through this.  the rest of the family was in the other room!  boy were they a little surprised when they came around and saw a bunch of crying babies at the front door!

we laughed and said good bye.

see you in three months.

it's not that long.

it's not too far away.

i've been away for that long before.

i can do it again.

the rest of the day was a lot of fun.  sitting in the backyard with my sister and brother and his wife and 6 of the children playing and running around.  (heath and my sister's husband had taken maddox and william to the falcons game.)  the day was beautiful.  bright sunshine, clear skies, warmth.  it really was a great day.  a beautiful way to start the new year.  2012 was already looking really good...

we came in and ordered pizza.  didn't i say that this day was NOT the start for anyone trying to lose weight.  i mean, come on, i'm living in england!  a girl has got to have good pizza when she is home in the US!  and as my brother walked out to go and pick up the pizza the phone rang.

my parents were on the line.  mama and my daddy were on their way back to our house.  they'd driven home, cooked black eyed peas and collard greens and were bringing them over for us to eat...

because every southerner knows that this will give you luck and fortune for the new year!

i laughed and told them to "come on"!  we'd have pizza, black eyed peas and collard greens!

once they arrived, we asked them what on earth they were up to.  why would they drive home, over an hour away, and then drive back in just a few short hours?

my mom went through the day of what they did, how they felt, what they said, what they didn't say...

and how they cried.

and cried.

"we left too soon", they said.  "we should have stayed".

so.  they came back.  and we ate.  and we laughed.  and we joked.  and we played.  a beautiful way to start the new year.  yes, 2012 was looking really, really good.

as much as we asked them to stay and spend another night, they did not.  they packed up those peas and greens and headed out the door.  this time, my mom and i did not hug.  we simply said goodbye.  see you in three months....

i almost went to go and give her that hug, thinking maybe she'd not realized that we didn't do it.  but i know my mama.  she knew we'd already had that hug earlier in the day and it was enough to sustain her.  or maybe it wasn't.  maybe it was too much sadness, too much mush.  so, i let her go.  thinking we are either really strong women or just silly wimps for not hugging it out and crying some more.  my mom does not want the drama of it all.  and i respect that.

there are always going to be times that we feel as though we didn't have enough time or that we left too soon from something.  someone.  some times there are some things that are never going to be enough.  this was one of those times and one of those things.  precious time with my family is never enough.

we are so blessed that they were able to turn around and come back.  there was still time to be had and we had it.  what a gift.