Little Surprises

the children are constantly giving me little surprises.  just last week, zane proudly told me that he had something in his coat pocket, "mommy, i have you a surpriiiiiise" (as he pats his pocket and smiles from ear to ear.  he refused to show me on the bus and told he wanted to show me later.  fine, i have two other children talking at my face right now and one at home who will be waking up for a snack in just a few minutes time.  i can wait for that surprise...

several days passed and when friday snuck up on me, i realized zane's coat was in desperate need of soap and water!  it was covered in mud.  as i was preparing it for the wash (you know what i mean, moms, every nook and cranny must be searched because you never know what you'll find that you don't want to go into the wash).  i reached my hand in his little coat pocket and there it was....my "surpriiiiiiise"!  inside his coat was caked up dirt from where he had apparently put in a mud ball.  also, i found 4 rocks.

oh, sweet zane, you shouldn't have....

before going to bed at night, i love to sneak in and check on each one of the children.  isn't it the sweetest to see them lying so still?  so peaceful.  the boys are all contorted, blankets and body parts in all directions, sweet reese looks like a little angel, and echo is in peaceful bliss.  i love those moments.  i think God makes children so cute when they sleep so that we'll want to keep them for another day.  sometimes the kids leave me surprises before they go to bed.  a few nights ago i walked in, snuck in with my most stealthliest moves possible and as i was tip-toeing over to maddox's bed, ever so lovingly, i stepped on the sharpest, tiniest, most glass-like object!  what the.....!?  not expecting to watch out for objects that feel like shards of glass, i began to limp and whimper, going down to my knees in sheer pain of what had just occurred.

why!?  why oh why would you leave that stinking tiny toy in the thick carpet maddox?

and not to make anyone squirm too much, but if you have young children, you know that you may, at any given time, find a little gift in any toilet around the house at any given time....

"guys......!!!!??  who pooped in the potty and not flush when they were done!!!!!???"  and then one will slink in telling me "sorry, mommy" as they flush and run away.

little surprises.  what would my life be without all these little surprises?

today, i came in from the gym and quickly started to pick up our piles of clothes from yesterday's snow day.  we were wet from head to toe and decided to let it all dry out overnight.  i was picking up gloves and hats and kept smelling an all too familiar smell.  what was that?  where is it coming from?  upon turning over echo and maddox's gloves i realized that the foul smell was dog poop.  i thought back to our snowball fight and cringed.  thank you Lord that we all got into the bath immediately after stripping down last night.  because some of those snow balls.....were actually poop balls.

and speaking of poop balls, this morning heath woke echo up and brought her into the kitchen for her breakfast.  he quickly tore off her pull-up to switch her over to her undies.  and as he pulled, tiny little poop balls went bouncing around the kitchen floor.  we all stood in horror as daddy tried to compose himself and rush echo to the nearest toilet to clean her up.  he hasn't quite figured out that when waking a small child in the morning and taking off her pull-up, one must proceed with caution.   although she is potty trained for the most part, she can still produce little surprises.  he can be such a rookie sometimes.... 

yes, it's these little surprises that remind me how young our family still is.  i mean, i no longer have many of the surprises that come along with the infancy or the baby stage.  yes, i've successfully lived through each of those stages.  and let me tell you, those were some serious surprises!  but i am certainly, without a doubt, still in a big-fat-surprise stage right now.  and i don't think the surprises will end for a very long time.  i shudder to think of what pranks and surprises the children will leave for me in the future.  i shiver, i cringe and i do a bit of a gagging. i also can't help but laugh.  there is never a dull moment.

and why would we want dull?  why would we want anything less than the fun and silliness that comes with these little people we call children?  they constantly teach me to lighten up, to laugh and to take life in stride.

so, moms, let's lighten up.  let's laugh.  and let's take it in stride.  may you, too, have a blessed day...full of lots of little surprises!

Snowball fight of January 2013.  

"He settles the childless woman in her home as a happy mother of children.  
Praise the Lord!" Psalm 113:9

Priorities

getting on a jet plane to leave my children does not get any easier.  no matter what i'm leaving to go and do or how many times i've done it before, the pain in my heart is still just as rough as the first time!  heath and i boarded the flight to go to norway last weekend, and as the plane door was closing, i began to feel breathless.  why couldn't i breathe?  what was happening to me?  why does my stomach ache, my mind feel foggy and my heart beat fast?

it was then heath leaned over and said something to me with a big smile on his face.  i'm not sure what it was because apparently i'd lost my hearing in that moment as well.  and it happened, i began to cry the cry that only kids can cry.  the cry where your lip can't help but tremble, the tears spill out and your stomach convulses in and out.  my face scrunched up and i had to cover my lips before they fell right off, melted off, broke off....i was a mess about leaving my children.  they are constantly my top priority.  i had been with them for almost 5 straight weeks.  they'd had no school, no nothing.  just me and them.  they had only had two different nights that they'd gone to stay with my parents over the holidays.  i'd gotten used to having them constantly with me.  and shockingly....i loved it.

i thought for a moment that maybe heath would cry too just watching me try to pull myself together.  i quickly went back to my magazine and tried to see through the tears as they fell down my face and dropped on the pages.  it's my birthday!  this should be happy!  happy birthday to me, dag-nabbit.  pull yourself together woman!

getting on a jet plane to leave my children does not get any easier.

once we arrived in tromso, norway, i had started to feel a little more relaxed.  we had a late lunch, a quick nap (yes...a nap...and the beds were made so that we each had our own blanket!...be still my heart!)  then, we were able to talk to the kids and i felt even more relaxed.  that night we went out into the snow covered mountains to try and see the northern lights on an "aurora safari".  so cool.  we didn't see the lights but we had a great time sledding on tiny sleds, eating reindeer stew and talking to the guide about typical days in norway.  learning about others' cultures never gets old for me!

the next day was more time to spend and have fun with heath.  it's amazing what a couple of days away can do for a marriage!  it takes me a few hours, if not a full day, to get out of "mommy mode" and then i become me.  just plain old me.  which is not so plain actually.  heath and i are both jokesters so we are constantly laughing and doing rediculous things.  we enjoy adventure so we seek fun and excitement.  we enjoy shopping together, walking together, sitting together.  we enjoy one another.  we compliment one another well.  it's not that we forget these things, we just have jobs to do in this life.  as adults, as people, as parents....we all have priorities.  we get caught up in the things that we think need to be done.  but on this trip, nothing NEEDED to be done.

so we shopped, we ate, we slept, we talked.

kids?  what kids?  (i'm kidding....or am i?)

and we went dog sledding.

oh the dog sledding.  one of our most hysterical times on the trip was getting onto the dog sled as the dog trainer attached the dogs to the sled.  heath had all of his weight on that brake and yet those little dogs were jumping and howling with everything they had.  they were READY to go!  eager to get on that trail for a run!  we were hysterical with laughter before the sledding even started.

after being whipped in the face by sleet and snow, sledding for over an hour through wide open (pitch black) fields of white snow, lots of laughter and only one...okay, maybe two, near death experiences because of my driving, we stopped off for some more reindeer stew and hot tea.

even though this was my 36th birthday, you would have thought it was my 16th.  our maturity level, on the sled, was about just that.  sad but true.  the day had turned out to be everything and more.

when we left the following day, i was so glad that we'd decided to go. it was nice to get away and put work, children and life aside for just a little while.  it was great to put one another as the priority and focus on who we are as a couple.  it was a great reminder of how we got ourselves into the crazy fun life that we are in right now.

after we'd gotten home from the weekend, hugged the kids, kissed them goodnight and put them to bed.  life started up again:  heath began to pack for his next business trip and i began to get things ready for the kids and the upcoming school week.  yep, life picked right back up where we left off.

other priorities crept back into our lives.

the party was over.

after i'd gotten the kids clothes laid out for the next day, i decided to go and give myself a little birthday gift.  seems selfish, right?  i'd already gotten an amazing trip, some clothes and some cool boots..did i not mention the new boots.  they're cool.

my weekend away with heath had reminded me and solidified my belief that if we take time and we make time for one another, then we draw closer to one another.  i saw the great benefits that when we put one another as a priority, we make a better team.  a happier couple.  a healthier marriage.  no matter how difficult it is, no matter if we have time or not, no matter how much it might scare us...we need to make one another a priority.

so i pulled out my computer and filled out a little application for a mission trip to cambodia.  many of you know a piece of my heart was left over there during my first (and second) trip to serve those amazing children and show them God's love.  my goal this year is to draw closer to God.  to make Him a priority.  for me, serving Him is drawing closer to Him.  He wants nothing more than to have me close and keep me right in His big ole grip.

there is no better gift.

as i pushed, "send" on the computer, i couldn't help but think, happy birthday to me.  

Whole body on the breaks to keep the dogs still.  
We should have taken a picture of the dogs jumping
straight up and down to start running.

End of our sledding.  Dogs are finally calm.

After a yummy meal in our "tee pee type" tent.

Winter Wonderland

it's been quite a few years since heath and i have had the unique opportunity to take reese and maddox out alone.  after all, the day zane was born, he instantly became their triplet.  he never leaves their side, unless forced.  even if he's not by their side, he is always lurking nearby, ready to torment and punish them in inconceivable ways.  he is, after all, the younger brother.  he takes his roll very seriously.  and then, not to be outdone, along came echo.  and the party got even crazier.  she too, enjoys living up the roll of baby sister.  one who annoys, follows and desperately tries to keep up with the eldest three.

a month ago, on a cold saturday, we'd planned to take the three big kids to the winter wonderland.  a section of hyde park is set up with lights, rides, food and fun!  right as we were walking out the door, zane decided he'd rather stay home with echo and the sitter.  he wasn't feeling well and he didn't want to be out in the cold.

say what?

after talking to him and making sure this was what he wanted, the four of us, heath, myself, reese and maddox all headed out the door.  from the moment we walked out, i was a bit unsure we were doing the right thing, but zane had insisted that he wanted to stay.

once we arrived, i started to get really excited.  it was like a double date!  i could keep up with one, and heath with the other.  oh sweet mercy!  this was going to be fun!!!

the next several hours were spent going on rides, eating fun foods and playing games (well, one game.  we tried to explain to maddox that those HUGE animals he desperately wanted were for people that play and WIN...you don't just get the animal for playing the game and/or looking cute.  believe me, i've tried).  reese and maddox were so much fun!  they didn't whine, they didn't complain, they didn't ask to go to the bathroom 400 times.  they were so enjoyable!

it's not to say that we didn't miss our other two....but it was so nice to focus on our older children for a change!  we laughed, talked, joked around, made joint decisions on what ride to go on next.  it was truly a pleasure.  relaxing and FUN!

heath and his date

me and my date

let the games begin!!!

spinning in a life size bowl

my date hiding from the camera

inside a crazy fun-house

as our children get older, we are finding it more important to spend quality time with each individual child.  and it's not easy!  it takes time and planning.  we haven't quite found the best way to do it, but in time, we will.  it's been so cool to find out what they are like individually and hear what they have to say when the others are not around.  they are all so different and so unique.

as much as i love our larger family and all the craziness that comes with it, i will forever remember our first double date in that winter wonderland.  i fell in love with those two tiny babies all over again.  they made me realize where we started and how far we've come with this family.  they made me cherish the calm times and appreciate the wild times....well, at least tolerate the wild times...let's be realistic.

December 2007.
when we were a young family of four....

reese and maddox, you guys are so much fun.  you are growing up way too fast.  thanks for a really great night filled with some hysterical moments.  thanks for being so cute and cool that we wanted and were able to take on your rowdy siblings, zane and echo.  because as much fun as we had on this night, we know that life would not be nearly as much fun and hysterical without those two crazy kids.

here is to many more date nights with the two of you!

An Irish Prayer

May God give you...

For every storm, a rainbow,

For every tear, a smile,

For every care, a promise,

And a blessing in each trial.

For every problem life sends,

A faithful friend to share,

For every sigh, a sweet song,

And an answer for each prayer.

Home

Home

It's such a simple word that can evoke such great emotion.  The meaning holds so much for so many;  the return to home is like no other feeling that we have...it's difficult to explain, yet we all understand without any explanation needed:

the weary traveler getting off a jet plane

the broken solder who saw too much

the college student with a bag full of dirty laundry

the prodigal son asking forgiveness

the little child after a tough day at school

the dying man on his way to meet his Maker

the cancer patient in remission

and...

the frazzled mother after being in a foreign country with her nutty, fruitcake children...

yes, there is something about the word "home" that pulls at us in ways that we can't explain.  i certainly felt the pull when choosing our Christmas cards this year.  i was flipping through different shapes and sizes and there, on the front of the card it simply read, "we'll be home for christmas".  and i knew i'd found the one.

our card

we'll be home for christmas

the thought was so exciting and heartwarming that i couldn't wait to send out our card this year.  it has been one of our most meaningful cards...aside from the one the year before when we had our WHOLE family of 6 all together, at last!  that one will be tough to top.

once to our US home, it always amazes me when how after only a few minutes, it seems as if we've never left.  the kids dash upstairs to their rooms, running around, looking for their toys.  at first we are so loud, laughing and talking about what we remember, things we'd forgotten, how excited we are....and then there is silence.  we each find somewhere to go, somewhere to be.  for the children, they find a bedroom or a toy and begin to quietly play.  for heath and myself, we find mail to go through, rooms to walk around in, business to get done.  (okay, let's be honest.  i'm walking around rooms, he's getting business done.)

and then the moment comes when we all must hunker down for the night.  jet lag at its fullest, we get into our beds and lay our heads down on pillows that seem foreign and yet so familiar.

to us, our home and our beds welcome us each time with more and more love and comfort than the time before.  i know it sounds silly, but it's the feeling i get, stronger and stronger with each visit we make.

i had several friends ask me what was the one most important thing that i couldn't wait to do this trip back.  my answer was to sit by the fireplace with family and just enjoy being home.  and it's what we did a lot of this time.  i had a truck deliver a load of firewood on our first day back.  i started a fire the moment the truck pulled away....(well, i tried, but i didn't have a starter log, the wood was wet from rain, and all i got was smoke.....but i made the attempt).

we were able to spend time with family and i had a tiny bit of time to see a few friends.  not nearly as many as i would've liked to have seen but the few that i did, made me realize how friendships pick right back up where they left off, never missing a beat.  and we spent lots (i mean, lots) of time by the fire.

home...

when it was time for us to leave, i was dragging my feet even more than i'd done in the times before.  i'd forgotten everything about london.  i had not really thought about the city at all during my time back.  the holidays, visits and busy agenda had kept me from thinking too much about anything!  i'd completely taken myself out of the city this time.  i'd lived each day right where i was in marietta, not looking back at where i'd been, but always in the moment.  i'd even told a saleswoman one day where we lived and when she asked what part of london, i froze.  i couldn't even remember the street, the area, nothing.....!  i had to take time to think of it.  how does that happen!?

so you would think that entering our flat once again in london would be underwhelming, stale, and have a cold feeling to it.  i mean, we love the US.  we love being home.  at least that was what i thought might happen.  but as we entered, a really strange feeling crept over me...

home?.....

home.

our flat felt like home.  the smell, the sounds, the memories, the love.  the kids ran to their rooms, looking for their toys.  we came in so quietly.  so tired after a long night on a plane, too little sleep and not enough food.  we all began to find our way around, ate a tiny bit to satisfy our hunger....

and took a big fat nap.

....and there was silence.    we had fallen into a delightful sleep.  all happy.  all safe.  all warm.  and all well....home.  we'd brought it over with us.  or maybe it had never left.  maybe it had always been here with us.  maybe we had brought it over 18 months ago and it was just now sinking in.

last night, in my sleep, i was startled awake.  by what, who knows.  sirens outside, people walking by, jet lag not quite out of my system..but i awoke and had the thought, "where am i!"  have you done that before?  you wake up and feel like you are in one place and quickly realize you are in another?  i originally thought i was in my US bed, snug, safe and happy.  and then i realized i was in my UK bed, just as snug and just as safe and just as happy.  there was the feeling again.  home.

we have 4 more months in this amazing city.  we are going to enjoy them, live them and love them.  we have been so blessed to call two countries our home.  we have been blessed with friends who welcome us back each way we go.  we have been blessed to enjoy our fun, crazy and loving family wherever we go.  our home follows us where we go.  we have been blessed.

home

it evokes so much emotion.

i have a feeling that when we leave here, we will leave a piece of ourselves behind.  friends, the children's classmates, so many memories.  we will leave many of these things behind.  and we will take their love back with us.  i hope that we leave our love here to others, as well.  i think that we will always be able to return here with a little feeling that this was once...

home.

Right by the fire is where we spent most of our nights

Just a few of my high school gals.  

Snuggled by the fire.
Did I mention we spent a lot of time here?

My sweet Reese.

The shocking news that all gifts had been opened.

My parents' home.  The one I grew up in.

Heath's parents' home as we drove up!
SNOW!!!

"Where we love is home-

home that our feet may leave

but not our hearts."

Oliver Wendell Holmes