my 5 year old has been learning some lessons at school. some valuable lessons. and with those lessons, he has also been teaching me. yes, we can learn lessons from anyone, anywhere, at any time. even our children.
reese and maddox were moved up to Year 1 just 3 weeks ago. it is the 5-6 year old classroom. kindergarten, so to speak. they had originally been placed in Reception (the 4-5 year old class). heath and i were fine to start them with the younger group but realized, once they started school, that year 1 was where they should be. thankfully, their teacher and the head master all agreed and they were quickly moved up. fortunately, for them, they were moved up as quickly as possible. unfortunately, school was already 6 weeks in and so they have a bit of catching up to do, educationally and socially. the two of them (maddox especially) are quite a bit smaller than the others. this does not really affect reese, being a girl, but it has already started to affect maddox.
i went to go and pick them up during that first week in their new class. the teacher pulled me aside to say that there had been some bullying in the garden and that the matter would be handled internally by the deputy of the school. she said maddox was upset but that everyone had been spoken to regarding the matter. she was very official, yet kind, about the whole situation. it wouldn't have mattered if she had told me while handing me a dozen roses on a silver platter. it came as a slap in the face. gulp. my baby! my baby has been hurt by others!? who? point me to the child....
it's all i could do to fight back the tears and not go pounce on some 5 year old boy's head!
on our way home, i asked reese and maddox to tell me all about it. apparently some boys were picking on the girls. chasing them and calling them names. maddox said that they were hurting the girls and he stepped in to make sure the girls were okay. atta boy! then the boys made fun of him and started to chase him too. he also went on to say that reese was his best friend and he didn't want her to be hurt. God love this child...
my son. what began inside of me as anger, embarrassment, sadness, rejection....turned into such great pride. how can a 5 year old have such a heart of gold, courage of a lion?
but my anger came back a or so day later. i was talking to maddox one morning at breakfast and told him that if those boys were mean again to go play somewhere else. i told him the boys were naughty and he probably shouldn't be their friends anyway. as quickly as i said the words he came back with this, "but mommy, they are my friends. i really like them. i want to be everyone's friend." ugh, maddox. so naive. oh to have a child's heart.
maddox was also moved up a year in judo class. he loved it in his reception class but he was moved up quickly to this older level so that he could be with his (new) age group. he still has only a white belt, while most others have their red since many took the class last year. again, he said that some made fun of him. his judo teacher told me that maddox was one of the smallest in the class but that she had paired him with another boy about his size. then she said, "maddox has such a strong heart, he is dedicated, he will do well, don't worry." again, i tried to keep the tears back. i can't help but worry.
that night, after a bedtime story, some prayers and conversations over school and how it's going for them, the "best and worst of school", i told maddox how proud i was to be his mother. i told him he had so much courage. i wanted him to know that he had a huge heart. but maybe i was saying it for my own benefit as well. as i said the words to him, i saw his tiny little face light up. he was beaming. smiling from ear to ear.
how long will my words of affirmation be enough? how long? for him. for all of my little ones.
you know, we all get bullied at some point or time in our lives. teased. picked on. pointed out. some more than others. some remember specific details and some have long forgotten those hurtful comments. i'm starting to see a new view of it. through the eyes of the mother. and it's not any easier on this end. i want to drop kick any kid who ever hurts any of my children. but, obviously, that would not turn out too well. i want to protect my children from every bit of pain, but then, they have to learn for themselves how to deal with these issues. it's so difficult.
when i kissed maddox goodnight, his little smile still lingering, i told him just to ignore that mean boy and get away from him. maddox's reply was simply, "i don't want to, i like him".
little boy, big heart.
a valuable lesson for me. love others, even your enemies. i have a lot to learn from this strong and courageous little boy.
Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6
*i started writing this blog a couple of weeks ago and can't end this without telling what occurred last week and again just yesterday. the teacher pulled me aside to inform me that maddox had jumped on the boy's back during garden time and then, this week, punched the boy in the stomach. just had to add that tidbit.
Love it. Love the caveat more!
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