Georgia Peach, English Tea: If You Can't Beat 'Em.

This morning, i awoke to little hands pressing on my side, asking the a question that i could not comprehend. in my sleepy coma, i asked, "zane, what do you need", his reply, "i need you to fix my covers"

....uhhh, right, because CLEARLY that's important in these wee hours of the morning.

so i reached over the side of the bed to fix his covers, only to find that he didn't just want the blanket to be on him...no he wanted them to be straightened and tightened and tucked and folded all around his tiny body. "sorry, buddy, not at this time of night" (and since when did you become such a princess?)

i'd let the three big kids sleep in my room the night before. a new tradition that i started a few months ago to keep our spirits up. heath is out of town on business and we are all alone this weekend. it's been quite awhile since heath has been out of town on a weekend so this has been an event that i was not really looking forward to. add on to that, i'm potty training echo. add on to that, emma, our nanny, is out of town for 5 days. she doesn't work on weekends but it's always great to know that she could be there in case of an emergency. so i told heath to travel quickly and safely and hope that he comes home to four children because one, if not two, might not make it through the next 8 days. potty training makes me crazy. it's my least favorite thing to do with a toddler. i knew we were in for troubled times.

look at this face. doesn't it look like trouble to you?

and i'll admit, i've been in a funk. my mother's birthday is monday. they are having a family reunion this weekend; cabins, picnics, family, roasted marshmallows, and some serious fun. it's put me in a funk. couple that with the fact that heath is gone also and, well, i was a bit foul this morning. upon waking, maddox climbed into bed with me and said, "mommy, i can stay here with the kids if you want to go out and get coffee and cinnamon rolls from starbucks."

ohhhh, maddox, if you only knew. i could almost take you up on that offer.

before i could wipe the sleep from my eyes, we were up and at it. for some crazy reason, i decided to cook eggs, bacon, pancakes and bagels. it was a huge meal. this is SO not like me, especially to do it all without heath! i'm not sure what i was trying to prove.

but as the day wore on and i started to lose my momentum, i began to learn (or remember) a few things:

-left over pizza is still okay after a few days in the fridge. so okay, in-fact, that i had a couple of slices. they were slightly stale and a little soggy, but i fought through it.
-those "2-bite" brownies that i bought for the kids, are really good. i can eat one in just 1 bite. i can eat three within a very short amount of time. and i can finish a whole box of them within a day. (i'm not saying i'm proud, i'm just saying that i learned this.)
-i learned that it's possible to go through a full day's time and NOT know what the air feels like outside.
-stealing the children's vitamins is yet another way to get a sugar fix.
-allowing children to run around half naked throughout the day is okay, it actually makes them happier. clothes are totally overrated.
-i can successfully do absolutely nothing with my day, except tend to children, eat pizza and sneak brownies (and those darn vitamins) and not feel too bad about it.
-potty training is not so hard if you sit her on her potty all day long. she had a very successful potty day!
-finding four separate rooms for children to go to "time out" is critical.
-a first shower at 4 in the afternoon can actually turn you into a human again.
-bathing children is sometimes for safety purposes, they are all in sight, busy and happy. all i have to do is sit and supervise...and then form the washing assembly line.
-poopie in fresh underwear looses its "gross factor" after the fourth child. i didn't even blink.
-allowing children to play video games, watch cartoons and lay around kills no one. we all survived the day. we are all very happy for it.
-it is possible to clean a kitchen 5-7 times a day if you are a mother.
-buy two packs of cookie mix. one to bake with and one to eat the dough from the bowl.

(yes, i lived on sugar alone today. it was seriously one of the most desperate days i can remember in a long time. remember dory on Finding Nemo? "just keep swimming, just keep swimming.....")

throughout the day, i kept wishing that it was me who was on the business trip. it might be nice to be on a 8 hour flight, all alone. i could eat my tiny airplane pretzels in peace. i could watch movies only allowed for adults, no cartoons. i could go to meetings and dress sharply, make really big business decisions. i could go to a conference and listen to speakers and their bright ideas, maybe share my own. can you imagine? what if i were the one on that business trip?

let me eat another 2 bite brownie....oh wait, i already ate them all...dang it!

tonight at dinner. the kids were giggling over their food, making smirky comments about it, trying to sneak in words like "poop", "burp", "belly bubble" knowing, full well, these are usually words at the table that send me into orbit. tonight, i just sat there, in my pull out/fold out chair (because we have a tiny kitchen with no room to sit) and i let them get away with things i would not normally let them get away with. i sat and thought about how many brain cells died inside my brain today. how many of my brain cells threw themselves over a bridge!?

the kids kept giggling, food falling, drinks splattering. how had i been so calm all day? how had i not dropped a kid off at the neighbor's house. (i don't know my neighbors, but i can assure you, it might not stop me from dropping one over.) calmly, with a very fluid motion, i turned on my iphone, with the speakers on high, and turned on Waka Waka by Shakira. and it was LOUD! the spanish version, don't ask me why.

my kids all stopped dead in their tracks. food stopped being chewed, drinks were put to the side. they all looked at me as if i'd lost my mind. and maybe i had. but i played that music so loud, it drowned out their tiny little giggles, it stopped the whining, the tattling, the mouthing off. it stopped it all. and suddenly, inside me, there was dancing. my insides were happy. i felt free.

after the children had a moment to let this sink in, they began to literally dance in their seats. move around. feel the music. they began to smile, to laugh, to sing.

and so did i...

we all did. i looked down and even little echo was up out of her seat dancing and playing. we jammed. we stopped everything and had one of our best dance parties.

i'd slummed around for the whole day. quietly washed and cleaned, managed and refereed, bossed and boo boo kissed without much of a thought. i'd breezed through the day but i'm not sure that i lived it. i guess there comes that moment when you think, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. i mean, let's face it, it's a great little party to join.

motherhood is a lot of fun. it's also a lot of work. i've stumbled through the day, wallowed in my funk, let the loneliness sink in. i've had my day today that mothers have every now and again. i don't feel bad about it. i'm not ashamed of it. it was a good day. a guilt free day. actually, looking back on it, it was really great. i ate without thinking, i was a sloth in my pajamas, i sat beside a potty for hours, i learned new levels of critter attack on the ipad, and i danced. not such a bad day in the life of a mama.

not such a bad day.