First Day Jitters

we've all felt them, those first day jitters, the butterflies in our stomach, the lack of sleep the night (or nights) before a "first day". no matter what you do in life, you've had those jitters. first day of school, big business meeting, first flight, first time on the bus, first day on the job, first boot camp group each month (yep, that's for you OBC), first time in a new church, a child's first birthday...

first.
first.
first.

yep, we've all felt them. what's funny is that no matter hold old i get, i still get those jitters. i wanna laugh but i wanna cry type feeling. i've experienced a lot of firsts while i've been here already. one of our biggest firsts was when the kids had their first day of school last week. it was precious to see them all dressed up in their tiny british uniforms. they were so proud, so excited, and i could tell, a bit nervous. i was so proud, so excited and definitely nervous! it was raining out so they put on their rain jackets and off we went to catch the bus. our first of many bus rides to and from school. they were more quiet than usual. i could tell that they were taking this all in.

we took them inside and after some big hugs, lots of smiles and "i love yous", we left. heath and i walked out. walked away from the school, away from our three oldest. our three who still feel like babies to me. i barely had time to relish the joy and sadness when i realized that my bus was coming, so i took off into a full sprint, in the rain to make sure i got on it. oh well, so much for holding on to the moment. maybe it was better this way. no time to get too emotional.

saturday we took our first family tour day. we took a public bus and let the children sit up to of the second floor of the bus and look down at all the city as we passed by. they loved it. i loved it. we tried to point out cool monuments or famous buildings but really all the kids wanted to do is see how many "tiny cars" they could find. london has so many of these smart cars over here. it's so funny. the kids just howl laughing when they see them. even echo has been known to point at a tiny car here and there.

sunday was our third sunday service. but our first was a whole dramatic display of us walking over half a mile with 4 small children, in the rain, trying to find the church. miserable, to say the least. but we did it. and once we got to the church, we found out that the childrens' leaders were all on holiday for the month of August so we'd have to stay down with them in the basement and watch the service on a tiny tv. my eyes welled with tears MANY times that morning. i had much more than jitters...but we fought through the discouragement and did the best we could. we went back again and again this last sunday. we have signed up to be something called "pastorial leaders" for the church. we might as well dig in, right?

today i had my first "class" at my new gym. yes, of course, i joined a gym. fortunately there are a ton of classes to chose from, unfortunately, the one class i could fit in today was a Latin Salsa class. the instructor was a professional latin dancer. i'm not joking. go ahead, laugh. i did. i laughed until i almost cried right there in front of the instructor. i've never moved my hips like that. i never want to again. it was a bust. but i had a blast! i'll just stick to kick boxing and step classes, i think...

boy do i wish i had a picture of that one.

and i will never forget our first three nights here in the flat. it was empty, we had sick children and i felt afraid. we would go to bed each night and i would dread the night because i would begin to think about all the dangers that are lurking in a big city, a foreign city. everyone in the house would be fast asleep. each night, for three nights straight, i would hear a tiny pitter patter into our room. little reese would be standing high above my mattress (we had no bed frame). the first night i was a little startled and asked her what she needed. she simply said, "i'm scared". without even hesitating, i opened up my sheets for her to crawl in. this is not my normal way of handling the boogie man but i new that it was much more than the boogie man. because i was scared too. and no one understood my childlike fear better than my own daughter. my five year old little girl. my reese. so we slept there together until i put her back in her own bed much later in the night, the wee hours of the morning. the next night it happened again. the next night, almost the same way, except it was i who crept into her room, stood beside her bed and asked, "can i get in with you?" she opened up her covers and i crawled in. the warmth and security that only a child can bring. we were in good company together. i began to appreciate my daughter for much more those three nights. there was almost a friendship that was building in us. i like being her friend sometimes.

there are going to be a lot more new things, first day jitters, that we take on this year. it's going to be scary and it's going to be exciting. i'm more excited now than i am scared. there are moments when this childlike wonder is going to be fun and there may be moments when it's scary. but i have my family by my side. i have 5 of my very best friends with me. we are like a little posse. i'm so thankful for these jitters. they are making me stronger and more knowledgeable. who knows how this can be used in the future. only time will tell.

Jer 29:11 (NIV) "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."