I was riding on the bus today, looking around at the faces. all so different, different colors, different shapes, some old, some young. some listening to music, some chatting away with friends, others where checking their messages. some had children of their own, pushing strollers, pulling the older one behind them to quickly find a seat before the bus started up again. people. people everywhere! everywhere you turn. and they are all so different. so amazingly different.
since i've gotten here, my interest in others has only increased. i'm a people person. i love people. i love meeting people, getting to know them, making friends with them...i just love people. i love how we are all so different. even as hard as we try to be the same. i'm the first to admit that i want to try and fit in. i think we are all like that to a certain extent. we all have a need to belong, to feel wanted, to feel like we are accepted. i think that we were created that way. we are created to love and to be loved. it's the way He intended it.
today i found myself trying to figure out the trends of london. so far, i've seen black leggings, flats, colored jeans, long coats and a lot of black clothing. oh, and boots. that's what i have so far on the fashion side of things. i know hats will come out soon when the weather gets cooler. i've already invested in a hat. it's cute. i can't wait....
after my bus ride and some people watching, i decided to go to the gym. i had a great workout and then went into the women's locker room. i don't know how many of you have been to a locker room lately or how many of you have been to a foreign locker room but let me just say....there is some serious people watching to do. but of course, i can't look like a freak or i'll be kicked out, right. so i have to pretend like i know what i'm doing, like i see naked people flashing around all the time. i've been going to this gym now for a week, so i must be honest, i'm getting use to the women strutting their naked stuff around, drying their hair. naked. lotioning up their legs. naked. yes, i'm getting use to this scene. so, as a person, who loves people, and wants to belong, and feel accepted, i decided that it was time that i lightened up a little bit. i mean, no one knows me here, right? it's not like i'm going to bump into anyone i know, right?
so, i was in the steam room. beside a naked gal. now mind you, it's not like there is much to be seen. she was actually on her corner and i was on mine. i kept my towel on as always in there. but after she left the tiny, steaming room i began to think about all the people that i've seen over the last month. how beautiful they all seem to me. the old, the young, the sad, the happy, the big, the small....they all carry a sense of beauty. we all do. and then i began to feel a sense of strength and power that we really all should try and look for deep within ourselves. i thought about how beautiful people are, but especially mothers. ( i know, here i go again on the motherhood thing...) but seriously. who was the most beautiful woman you ever knew growing up? your mother? who's touch could make all your cares go away? who's words were most comforting? most loving? didn't you think your mother was beautiful? don't we all think that our mother's are still beautiful?
i remember looking at my mother's freakles when i was very young. and i remember asking her about them. she told me that she didn't have so many until she turned about 30 years old. and she also said that she'd gotten some after having children. i didn't like the thought of any of this happening to my less freakled skin, the skin that i wanted to be pure and sun tanned (ironically, those two just don't go together well in the same sentence). i also remember sitting with my grandmother and flapping her arm skin from the back of her arm. horrible, i know. i thought it was funny. i can only imagine how "funny" she thought it was. but she let me flap her arm and laugh, all the same. now that i'm over 30, i have those same freakles as my mother. my badges of honor from carrying babies and my stripes of shame from too much sun bathing. but in that steam room, i decided then and there, that i was beautiful. and with no one watching i decided to just take the towel off. naked. just naked. i laugh even now as i write about it. because as i sat there thinking that i couldn't be seen, i was actually in clear view of the doorway. and to top it off, there were only two lights in the this tiny little steam room and one of them just happened to be directly over me, giving me a major spot light. well, so much for being discreet....
here is my point, i guess. and i'm as guilty as anyone else. i'm constantly bombarded with images of what or how i should look. and i know the truth. i know that we are all beautiful. we are. no matter our size or shape or color or religion. we are really so beautiful. as a matter of fact, it's the differences that make us so beautiful. and if you don't think you are beautiful, i can guarantee that there this someone you know who thinks you are beautiful. someone might even believe that you are breathtaking. if you have children, there is no doubt. you are beautiful.
i'm happy to say that even after my embarrassing "spot light" moment in the steam room, i walked out with my head held high. no one really cared that i was an exhibitionist anyway. not any more than i did. and i've made a promise to myself that at some point while i'm here, i'm just going to drop the towel, like all those other girls in there and strut my naked self around like it's nobodies business. just wait. i'll probably write about it....
You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you. Song of Solomon 4:7
No comments:
Post a Comment