It Takes a Village

you know the phrase, "it takes a village to raise a child"?  well, i'm starting to understand it a little better.  i'm starting to embrace it a little more.  here is the thing, i have a tendency to be controlling.  yep, control is good for me.  it makes me feel large and in charge.  i like to know where everything is in my home, i like to know what everyone is doing in my family.  i just have a need to be ever so slightly....in charge.  and most moms would agree that we truly feel that no one can raise our children like we can.  no one can run our household as well as we can.  no one can clean or put things away as well as we can.  not even close.  we, as moms, are the best.  right?

so, even though i know the common phrase, "it takes a villiage", deep down, i never truly believed it.  until recently.  

our lives have been turned over and over, left and right, upside down, backwards and forwards in the past year.  with three, already young children, we took on little echo and then moved out of the country.  and i, deep down, thought that we could do it on our own.  okay, i knew we would have the help of God.  that goes without saying.  but, other than that, i felt like we could manage it.  

but slowly i started to see my control leaving me.  we decided that it might be a good idea to hire a nanny while in london.  and we did.  back in the states, we had already asked some amazing people to live in our home and care for it while we are abroad.  and as picky as we are...these people are even picker!  they are neat-freaks at its finest!  but i soon realized that, not only was i no longer in control of it all, i wasn't in control of much of anything.  i actually felt very out of control.  

*insert freaked out mother here*

we came home to the states a few weeks ago, our family of 6, nanny with us, and "house guards" all under the same roof.  it's such a funny sight and sound to be in our home these days.  four young children tearing through the house, our australian nanny with her beautiful accent and our awesome columbian family speaking in spanish to one another.  i'm here to tell you, it's amazing to say the least.  and i have learned that THIS is our family right now.  this is what we do, this is how we live, this is what works for us right now.  

are things done exactly the way that i want?  no.  not always.  but then, sometimes they are done even better.

can i walk around in my underwear these days or leave a bathroom door open while nature calls?  nope.  but it's where we are in life right now.   

my children spent time with my parents last weekend while heath and i attended a fun event with friends in tennessee.  when i came to pick them up, they had a million stories to share about what they had done.  playing in a creek, reading bedtime stories and learning the game of chess with granddaddy.  stories about how grandma had dropped a ball, it rolled down the hill and into the road where a car ran over it.  the kids told me that it was okay though, "grandma said she didn't like that ball anymore, anyway."  they told me about my sister, cherish, coming over and bringing her boys so that they could spend the night all together at my parents' house.  oh my, i'm sure that house was full...and FUN!  the stories that they told me were hysterical.  they had the best time!  do i believe that things were handled the way that i would handle them?  nope.  even though i gave my mother strict, well-written directions on what to do with echo, do i believe that she followed them perfectly?  nope.  and i'm glad.  my children experienced something special with their grandparents and it's partly due to the fact that they were out of their routine.  they were experiencing something new and different.  

after picking the children up, we went straight to the beach to meet up with heath's parents for a week of fun.  usually when we go, it is constant madness, from the moment we wake up, get the kids fed, sunblock on, suits on, beach bags packed, kissed a few boos boos, put a couple (or all four in time-out) and kids out the door and to the beach or pool.  and it was still constant chaos.  but this time, this time...i had time to sit!  time to watch them play, time to talk to other adults, time to relax and breathe.  all i could think about as i watched the kids being thrown around by their pappy and hearing their grandmother laugh was, "wow, it takes a villiage to raise these kiddos.  look at how happy everyone is!"  not only did we have heath's parents but we'd taken along our nanny!  we actually had more adults than children for once!!!  it was a beautiful thing.  

did i have complete control?  nope.   

now ask me if i minded one tiny bit...  no way!

last year we took the kids to the beach and we barely brought back any pictures.  i think we managed to take 6 pictures and they were in our condo.  no beach pictures.  it was our tiny family of 6 and we had no time (or energy) for pictures.  i clearly remember last year trying to go to dinner with this "new" family (keep in mind, we'd only had echo for a month)  we tried to take them to the pool.  we tried to take them to the beach.  we tried but i remember once we finally got down to the beach or pool, someone had to go to the bathroom, one of them had fallen and skinned their knee, somebody needed a nap and had pooped their diaper, someone was whining and at least three wanted to be carried.  and let's not forget all the beach/pool paraphernalia that one must take when toting children.  chairs, balls, floats, towels, food, diapers, sippy cups...the list goes on.  multiplied by four.  i'm not sure how much fun heath and i had and i'm not even sure we were very successful.  we'd brought them all home alive so we felt like this was an achievement. 

i do remember telling my mom that i was exhausted from the so called vacation.  i needed a vacation to recover from the vacation.

this year, we took pictures.  we played at the beach AND pool for at least four hours each day, echo got her naps, we went to dinner and we ENJOYED.  it will certainly be a trip to remember.

you know, our family has been blessed in so many ways.  big and small.  we've had a chance of a lifetime to go and live in another country and see parts of the world that i'd only read about.  yes, we've been blessed.  but we've been blessed far beyond the travel, far beyond the trips, far beyond the fantastic adventure of it all.  we've been blessed with amazing people in our lives.  we have a family that loves us and is, not only there when we need them, but who genuinely want to be with us.  they truly love us.  and we've been blessed to have special people placed in our lives to help get us through this crazy time.  people who are willing to care for our children, care for our home and ultimately...care for us.

during our prayer last night, maddox wanted to "pray for our family".  he named our family members one by one and without missing a beat, included the names of our nanny as well as the names of the people living in our US home...

so, the fact that i open a drawer in my home and can't find a certain cutting knife or sippy cup is not such a big deal.  the realization that i may not be the one to kiss a boo boo or that i can't be there for every funny story is okay.  the moment when heath is caught in his boxers by one of the females living in our home...it's okay.  it's all good.  this is our life.  our crazy, adventurous life.  i can't do it all.  i was never intended to do it all.  i'm not in control and i'm still learning that maybe i don't want to be totally in control.  divide and conquer, right?  

it takes a village.

Beach Babe

These three loved the ocean this year!